


With This Rock, I Thee Wed

by Enk



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Alien Culture, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-05-11 07:43:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5619091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enk/pseuds/Enk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If Leonard had known he would climb a mountain and end up getting brain-married by a rock, he would have stayed home. Or maybe he wouldn't have.</p>
            </blockquote>





	With This Rock, I Thee Wed

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MK_Yujji](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MK_Yujji/gifts).



> written for kitsuneyujji during Happy_Trekmas

“Congratulations, Bones!” Jim claps him on the shoulder. “We figured out what's going on.”  
  
“Why the hell are you congratulating me for? It's not like I could have done anything to help from here and we both know what happens if I go too far.”  
  
On the bio-bed beside Leonard, Chekov groans in his sleep. He is still recovering from the neurological damage walking out of sickbay caused him. Well, not walking out of sickbay, but walking more than 30 feet away from Leonard who felt the pain as well, but not nearly as intense as Chekov had. The kid held his head and collapsed only a few minutes after leaving sickbay. Since then, they experimented a few times and then Chekov had the stupid idea of transporting away. He just about didn't make it, but Leonard refused to let him go and now here they are. Trapped together in sickbay.  
  
“I am not the only one who will congratulate the happy couple today.” Jim continues.  
  
“Happy couple? What the hell are you talking about, man?”  
  
“Apparently, and Uhura would like you to know that she has quadruple checked all possible meanings of the words, you two stumbled upon a sacred binding stone.” Jim is way too amused for someone who came close to losing a bridge crew member today. “As it turns out, only those destined to be bound together for all their lives in love- that includes reincarnation by the way- find the sacred binding stone and are thus wed.”  
  
“Wed. We- are you telling me that damned rock married the kid and I? Are you out of your mind?” Leonard stands up but is still mindful not to venture too far away from Chekov.  
  
“I'm just relaying the message, Bones.” Jim still looks too amused. “It only ever happened once before that off-worlders found the stone and were... well, married. And according to this particular culture's tradition, it was foretold that they would return and renew their vows every two or five hundred years depending on which scripture you read. So you are either right on time or really late.”  
  
“And we're holding an audience in sickbay, aren't we?” Leonard groaned and ran his hand over his face.

  
  
  
_Away missions. He hated away missions. Always had, always will. If he was going to hurtle through space at unimaginable speeds, he would stay in the safest place possible: the Enterprise. History had taught him well enough that away missions had a very good statistical likelihood of turning into disaster. That likelihood was usually amplified when Jim- he loved his friend dearly but by gods did he attract disaster- took part in them._  
  
_So, it may have been particularly aggravating that Jim was nowhere near this mission- a medical conference for which he- Leonard Horatio McCoy- had requested leave time. It was particularly aggravating because he had sat in a big conference room at a medical convention, neither Jim nor the Enterprise are anywhere near them and just like that a power coupling shorted, leaving everyone in the dark. Which would in and of itself not have been a particularly big problem, if not for the fact that this medical conference he had requested to attend had been on a station in orbit around a mostly uninhabited planet. Now said station was without power. That had not even been his biggest problem. His biggest problem had been some cascade effect which had meant manning the escape vehicles and landing on the aforementioned planet. No, not that either. He could with almost complete certainty say that his biggest problem had been that his vehicle was struck by debris and crash landed on this godforsaken planet._  
  
_"God damn it, kid," Leonard growls as he scanned the Chekov for internal bleeding, "you weren't even supposed to be here."_  
  
_"I have a keen interest in neuroscience, Dr. McCoy." Chekov countered, but Leonard knew the truth. Jim had sent him along to be his chaperone. However, considering the nature of their situation, Leonard decided that in this moment, it was best to let it go._  
  
_"Whatever, can you walk?"_  
  
_"Yes," Chekov pushed himself standing._  
  
_"Good, check to see who else is able to walk," he paused, because he had a gnawing feeling in his guts "forget that, check to see if the emergency beacon is online."_  
  
_"Aye Sir!" The kid was way to eager for his own good. Leonard rolled his eyes and checked on everyone else._  
  
_Most of them were fine. He was concerned about the head trauma one of the older passengers suffered during the crash. Emergency medical kits and all the doctors in the world couldn't fix that without proper neurological regenerators. Everyone else seemed more or less fine, beat up, they all were, but with the exception of Chekov, they were also all doctors and most of them were able to bandage themselves. Leonard ran a hand over his face after. He had his fill of bad news for the day, but Chekov who was perpetually cheery looked rather grave when he stepped back out of the crashed remains._  
  
_"The beacon itself is fine, but the antenna is broken. If we can get it to a higher altitude, it should be able to penetrate the atmosphere. I might even be able to contact the Enterprise.”_  
  
_So, they decided to climb the nearest damned mountain because what else could possibly go wrong. Not much, it seemed for most of the climb. The emergency vehicle crashed near the foot of it, so they found an ascent path almost immediate after they started walking. Leonard went because he didn't want to spend more time with other people than he had to. And Chekov came because he was the only one who knew how to contact the Enterprise- or at least someone else looking for them- with a broken beacon. The ambient temperature was pleasant, so the climb ended up a pleasant, if steep walk. It only took about five hours to get close to the summit._  
  
_“I think this is close enough,” Chekov said looking at the peak. The path they followed initially had been lost in the trees a couple of hours ago. They bush-whacked for the rest, but now, the terrain's incline became much harder to navigate. Too hard with a 20 kg beacon they carried. Judging by how the trees began to sparse, Leonard thought that soon, it would likely become too steep to navigate safely without any equipment. It wouldn't stop Jim Kirk, but fortunately the man was not here._  
  
_“I hope you're right, kid.” Leonard said and put the beacon down to breathe._  
  
_“You have to quit calling me that.” Chekov looked annoyed. “I get it, I'm young, but come on, we served together for three- almost four years now.”_  
  
_“All right,” Leonard sighed, “how about you get us off this rock and I call you whatever you want me to.” He cringed internally when he realized just how that must have come across._  
  
_“Pavel or Chekov would be nice, but I am willing to settle for King of the Beacons”_  
  
_“Well then, potential future King of the Beacons, what do we do now.”_  
  
_“Over there,” Chekov pointed at a slab of rock, “there is no tree cover above the rock, we should be able to get a good signal.”_  
  
_Together, they carried the beacon to the slab. Chekov wondered about the rock's composition and it being different from the rest of its surroundings. And Leonard told him to stop worrying about some god damned rocks and help him lift the beacon so the could get the hell out of there. When the beacon was firmly on the rock slab, both of them leaned against it, catching their breath. Then there had been a blinding light and Leonard felt his skin prickle and burn. And then, he woke up in sickbay._

  
  
“Not quite,” Jim doesn't look so amused any more. “Maybe a few, maybe a dozen people tops. And not in here, somewhere else quiet. We just need to buy some time.” Leonard knew that look.  
  
“Jim.” It isn't a question. It's a demand.  
  
“Whatever that rock did, it altered your and Chekov's brainwaves to link them. Since I doubt either of you want to spend the rest of your lives within 30 feet of each other, we have to figure out how to reverse what it did. And there's only one way to do that.”  
  
“You're going to steal what you just describe as these people's most sacred of places.”  
  
“Temporarily, which is where the distraction comes in. As soon as Chekov is well enough, we will welcome a delegation aboard and part of their stay in this cultural exchange will be an audience with the happy couple.” Leonard only frowns in response. “Come on, Bones. It'll be fun!”  
  
Leonard tells Jim to look up the definition of fun again.  
  
The 'fun' starts the next day when Uhura briefs them both on cultural expectations for what seems like forever. It doesn't help that Chekov takes this seriously. The situation, not the marriage, which is a relief because Leonard's done that once and he sure as hell doesn't plan on doing that again. If he had been forced to be within 30 feet of his ex-wife at all times, he likely wouldn't be here because they would have killed each other.  
  
“Now for the language, the Pleza's spoken language is much simpler than their written word, so the universal translator should be able to pick up everything. If it does not, then I'll be here to translate.”  
  
She takes a spot near the door of the small room reserved for meetings and sits on a simple stool. She wears a plain, floor-length cotton robe just like he and Chekov. Something about symbolizing that all worldly possessions pale in the presence of true love or some similarly maudlin load of crap. But he manages to swallow what little is left of his pride and smile fondly at Pavel whenever a new dignitary enters the room. He holds his hand, which is soft, if a bit cold. He runs his fingers through his hair, which according to Uhura is one of the most intimate ways to show affection among the Pleza. Chekov's hair is soft, softer than he'd expected, he thinks as blond curls slip between his fingers.  
  
“How do Humans perform the plezshelah?” The forth Pleza dignitary to seek out their company asks after presenting them with a blanket weaved from flowers. The translator doesn't give them a hint as to what a plezshelah is, but before Leonard can look for help with Uhura she is already by their side.  
  
“The plezshelah is the running of ones fingers through a loved one's hair.” She explains and turns to the Pleza. “The Human equivalent would be a kiss.”  
  
God damn it.  
  
“Please,” the dignitary bows, “it would be a great honour to witness the Human plezshelah, the Human kiss.” The i is too drawn out and the s too harsh, like a hiss, but the idea is there. And to refuse would likely cause offence and kill whatever time Jim still needed to fix this. Before Leonard can say anything, Chekov gently touches his hand to get his attention.  
  
“Only if you're okay with this.” He says without looking at the Pleza. Like he wants to convey that they still have some kind of choice in this.  
  
Oh what the hell, Jim needs more time and this Pleza apparently needs a show. So he nods, unprepared for what happens next. It isn't the kiss for which he is not prepared. That he expects. He expects Chekov's lips to be soft, but not that soft when they press against his. In what little time he had to think about this, he planned a short kiss, long enough to satisfy the curiosity of the Pleza but short enough to be well, short. He didn't plan on tracing his fingers along Chekov's jaw or on his heart pounding in his throat when Chekov flicks his tongue over his lower lip. He responds in kind, deepens the kiss as he tangles his hand in Chekov's curls. When they pull away from each other, Leonard has to clutch the flower blanket to hide his trembling hands. The Pleza trills overjoyed, eyes welling with tears.  
  
“My gratitude is as eternal as your love. Thank you for your blessing.”  
  
Leonard can't really focus on the rest of the dignitaries. He knows they're there but he only has eyes for Pav- Chekov who has a kind smile for each of them. They continue their audiences and display their affections. And in the end, Leonard feels a pang of disappointment that no one else asked for the Human equivalent of the plezshelah. Uhura joins the last delegation- the leader of the Pleza and their betrothed- as they exit the room. Leonard expected them to ask, but apparently no one else seemed to care about Human customs.  
  
“You did really well.” Chekov says after the door closes and they're alone.  
  
“Yeah, so did you.” He manages to say but he's not sure what else there is. Soon enough, Jim is going to burst through that door exclaiming they found a way to reverse this and the whole thing would be over and another ridiculous story to tell.  
  
“Though, I do have to say it was disappointing to see a people so fixated on the love of two off-worlders, but so uninterested in that species' customs.”  
  
Did Chekov just flat out say he would have liked to kiss more? Leonard looks at him, looks for the smirk that tells him its a joke, a raised eyebrow, anything. But Chekov just looks back, face completely neutral.  
  
“Damn it, Chekov,” Leonard moves. And Chekov leans toward him. The hiss of the door stops them.  
  
“Spock figured it out!” Jim's broad smile is not what Leonard wants to see right now. “He needs 12 hours and then we should be able to unsynch your brains without damage to either of you. Until then uh, stay together. I have to accompany the Pleza back to their capital. Try not to make each others' brains explode.”  
  
“Hey Jim,” Leonard looks at his friend, “try not to get married to a mountain.”  
  
“Not making any promises, but I will try. Now you two stay together, Captain's orders.” Jim disappears as quickly as he appeared. And once more, they are left alone.  
  
“In 12 hours this whole... thing will be over.” Leonard wants to say nightmare, but it isn't exactly that any more.  
  
“Your quarters or mine.” Chekov smiles at him, a twinkle in his eyes that spells nothing but trouble.  
  
Leonard could use a little trouble.


End file.
